In Dale Carnegie’s book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, he has these single-sentence directives that conclude each chapter. I’m sure like many others, I really find these directives very effective and to the point. They remind me of a series of blog posts by Derek Sivers: https://sivers.org/d1
I thought I would just organise Carnegie’s directives in one simple list.
FUNDAMENTAL TECHNIQUES IN HANDLING PEOPLE
1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest and sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
SIX WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU
1. Become genuinely interested in other people.
3. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
6. Make the other person feel important—and do it so sincerely.
WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING
1. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
2. Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
3. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
4. Begin in a friendly way.
5. Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
6. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s’ point of view.
9. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
BE A LEADER
1. Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
2. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
3. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
4. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
5. Let the others save face.
6. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
7. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
8. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
9. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.